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Do you call your boyfriend too much? Do you find yourself tempted to pick up the phone to share the most insignificant factoid with him? Do you worry that if you don’t call your boyfriend, he won’t call you? Then this post is for you, girlfriend.
Believe me—I know it’s hard. I’m writing about this because I love talking on the phone, and I have had to train myself to call my boyfriend less because really, I usually don’t have anything to say (just want to talk…) and it feels nice to get called instead of always doing the calling.
How to Not Call Your Boyfriend Too Much:
Call your girl friends.
I was in a long-distance relationship last summer, and I used call the guy to meticulously debrief every detail of my day with him. One day, I was complaining about how he’s always rushing to get off the phone, and my friend Shannan finally said to me, “Girl, stop calling him so much! If you want to tell someone about every second of your day, call me! That’s what girl friends are for!” I had never considered such a thing. But it’s true. Women are from Venus—and Venusians love talking things through. Men, on the other hand, do not like talking on the phone as much. So no more two-hour phone convos, ladies! In fact, try and keep the convos with your boyfriend under 20 minutes or less, and he will be calling you all the time, because he knows it will be a no-pressure, no-drama experience.
Do your chores.
I don’t care how nasty his man-cave is, you want your place looking nice for you to enjoy and for when he finally does come over. Instead of pining after him, wash your dishes, do your laundry, and go buy yourself some flowers for your living room. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to scramble to make my apartment presentable. I’ve often had my boyfriend show up at my place while I’m still loading the dishwasher with the week’s worth of dishes I let pile up in the sink. Embarrassing!
Make a vision board.
I’m telling you, crazy girls, that a fun, easy way to bring the things you want in your life to you is to make a vision board for it. Instead of pouring your heart out to your boyfriend, sit on the floor with a bunch of magazines and create a vision board of something you want in your life. If you have doubts about your relationship, make a love vision board with images of happy, active couples. If you are really upset about something that happened at work today, make a vision board containing images of the work environment and experiences you want. They take awhile to make and you feel great while working on it—like your dreams are within reach.
Cook an amazing meal.
Cooking is very calming, and it’s a great way to lower your crazy girl anxiety quotient that may be building as you debate whether or not to call your boyfriend. Don’t worry about finding a fancy recipe. Just drop into Trader Joe’s and buy their pre-seasoned meats and some side dishes you can easily make. Don’t forget the wine! I choose my wine by whichever sounds like it will be sweet (Muscatos are super-sweet) and whichever wines are in sexy-shaped bottles. During your cooking session, listen to some good ole independent-woman-in-love music (I suggest Corrine Bailey Rae) and make yourself a beautiful meal. When you finally do talk to him, you can brag about the awesome meal you made. He’ll be sorry he missed it.
Other things you can do instead of calling your boyfriend:
- Call your family members who you haven’t spoken to in awhile. They’ll appreciate hearing from you!
- Write a letter to a friend. A real handwritten letter. They’ll love it!
- Do your nails.
- Read a book.
- Request all your frequent flyer mileage credits.
- Get ahead on your homework. Then you’ll have plenty of free time to hang out with your boo!
Things you absolutely SHOULD NOT do instead of calling your boyfriend:
- Shop. Do not use shopping to fill the void of boredom or loneliness. That will lead you into a world of trouble.
- Call another guy. Do not divert your love energy into another source—unless you’re diverting it back to yourself. Calling another guy in search of attention and affection is a no-no if you’re in a committed relationship.
- Text your boyfriend. Texting is no different than calling! Guys know what you’re trying to do when you send those “care-free” texts. They know it is you nudging them to call. They don’t need to be reminded. He’ll call when he wants to and not a moment before, so just keep the cutesy texts to yourself. I know, they seem so clever, but they do not work!
And believe it or not—I wrote this post to keep from calling my boyfriend and GUESS WHO just called to talk? Works like a charm…